Excitement, perhaps a little too much!

First of all, I need to mention that Andy and I found a house a few days after the last post. It has everything that was on our original "want" list and is perfect for us. Our projected closing date is September 4th. Here's hoping that nothing goes askew.

Now, onto the real reason I'm writing a post. Andy and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary yesterday, and it was by far the most exciting anniversary we've ever had! We made plans to go on a St. Croix riverboat cruise. It was a wonderful time, but the trip there was quite the adventure! We saw our first tornado and major flooding on 35! Talk about scary! There were no indications of a tornado. No pea green color, no loud freight train, no funnel, and no sirens. However, there were flying trees/shrubs and a head or foot board from a bed flying around in a circle and complete downpours. There is nothing like being stuck in traffic and watching a tornado, not knowing what is going on or having a safe place to go. Apparently, this was a surprise tornado for all of the meteorologists, as they thought it was just a rainstorm w/ the potential of being a nice thunderstorm. They were wrong, VERY wrong. However, it made for a memorable and exciting day. Although, I don't need that kind of excitement EVER again.

Drained

The whole house search has drained Andy and I physically and emotionally. To say we're frustrated would be an understatement. We are finding no joy in finding a home and feel like we will be settling for something that we don't like, just to get this horrendous process done and over with. Will we ever find a house that meets our needs and wants? Seriously, we're not asking for much, but apparently the little that we do want is too much to ask.

It was a bust

Unfortunately, last nights search was a bust. Out of the 5 houses we initially we wanted to see, 3 of them were already pending or sold. The two we saw weren't awful by any means. One was gorgeous with tons of character. Unfortunately, character is codeword for old. Like seriously old. The other had a nice floor plan, a falling apart deck and a huge hill as a backyard. This one might could potentially be an option, but I'm not paying full price for it. No way, no how.

So, we're going out again on Saturday afternoon. We've extended our search way further than we'd ever wanted to, and we've dropped things from our list. Who would have thought that I'd be willing to go w/ no central air so long as there is duct work for us to put one in a house that is priced right? Crazy, right?! Instead of two garage spaces, I'll settle for one. I'm willing to purchase something with crappy carpet or an unfinished basement. Doesn't have two baths, I'll settle for one. Seriously, I'm willing to settle for some things, it shouldn't be this difficult! It just so happens that the houses that meet our downgraded criteria don't have a basement, are on a busy road, are too far away (come one we're NOT driving an hour each way to work), in a shady neighborhood, it's way too expensive or someone else has already snatched it up. I'm so over this right now, it's not even funny!

The search continues, seriously?

I'll be honest, I'm getting a little fed up with the whole house search. I'm ready the throw in the towel, then I'm not. I find a house that I could live with, then I over think it and the house is horrible. Seriously, can someone throw me a bone? Andy has been feeling the same way, so we're definitely not enjoying this stress laden ride!

We're heading out tonight to look at our bazillioneth house. Okay, you got me, it's more like 60th or 70th. When will we find something that we can see ourselves living in, in a town and neighborhood that is decent and a price that we feel comfortable with? We've gone through the "want" list a million times, and we're willing to let go of some of the list. So, we're bound to find something, right? I'm not holding my breath. I'm going to attempt to just forget about this whole situation, relax and just let whatever happens happen.

God, please help us find something we love.

House hunting and the zoo

Yesterday Andy and I continued our house hunt. We saw a few houses in the Southern suburbs, but didn't find any that really sang to us. Once again, there were major issues with every single house. Water damage/mold that was undisclosed. Check. Needs a new roof, sliding door, new windows and on a busy road. Check. Way over our budget and near 169 road noise. Check. Seriously, I'm not asking for much. Really, I'm not. I just want a home that is structurally sound, in good condition (I don't care if stuff is old, just in good condition), has a decent price tag and NOT on a busy road! So, the search continues. There are some possibilities that aren't everything I've dreamed of and are farther away from the city, but I'm willing to compromise distance to get more of what I (we) want. I haven't lost hope! :)

On another note, I was able to go to the zoo with Laurie, Eric, Marie and Linnea. It was a good time. Miss Linnea was quite the chatterbox on the way and did really well at the zoo.

I went hunting last night

The house hunt has officially started! Last night Andy and I met with a Realtor to look at some houses. Talk about discouraging! We both knew that our price range wouldn't allow us to purchase a fancy schmancy house, but we definitely thought it would allow us to purchase something nicer than anything we saw last night. We're forging ahead and are looking for new properties to take a look at later in the week. I never thought we'd be looking into some of the towns we are, but they are still reasonably close and allow us to get a little more of the ameneties we want but wouldn't be able to afford or find in the city. Here's to a great house hunt!

Turkeys and houses

Andy and I ran our first 5K on Thanksgiving. The weather was better than we were expecting and the spirit of those around us was great. Our time wasn't the best, but then again, we hadn't been training with 10,000 other people in our way or those two nasty hills right at the end. It was such a wonderful experience. We both enjoyed it and are thinking of doing another come Spring.

We've decided it's about time that we purchase a house. It has been discussed before, but we chickened out. Adult decisions and huge financial commitments like that make both of us squirm a bit. We are totally capable of doing the aforementioned, but we still like to think of ourselves as youngsters. So, we're attempting to cut back, save up and (hopefully) purchase a home in the Fall.

Run, run as fast as you can.

Last night Andy and I officially ran 3 miles. The best part is that we kept a pretty good pace and our times weren't too shabby. Of course, Andy finished a little ahead of me, but that is to be expected since our strides are different. I'm very proud of the the two of us. I know we can do the 5k without a doubt! It's VERY exciting!

This and That

Andy and I have been slacking somewhat on our 5K training, but last night we kicked it into gear. It was our first time running in the cold, and we both fared quite well. We'll be pushing ourselves a lot harder this week, but I know that we can do it!

Adam and Adrienne's wedding is fast approaching. We'll be heading out to SD with Amber on Saturday morning. Hopefully my cold will let up by then.

Exhausted

There has been a lot on my mind lately and I just can't seem to get a good night's rest.

Andy's Grandma passed away on Saturday. We are so thankful that we were able to see her one last time, and pray that she went peacefully. It's not easy, especially when I think of Andy walking out the door and saying 'I love you, Grandma' for the last time.

Things are slowly changing in my family. Missing holidays and weddings seems to be the norm. It angers and saddens me all at once. Never in a million years did I think my family would be like this. I guess change is imminent, whether we like it or not.

My mind is full of thoughts. My mind just cannot rest. Tossing and turning. I would just like to sleep.

Welcome to Las Vegas

We returned home from Las Vegas this past Monday. Andy was able to see his grandma after far too many years, and I was finally able to meet her. It saddens me to know that this will probably be the last time we will see or talk to Marlyn. I am very grateful that Andy and I were able to go out there.

Change

Things are falling apart. There isn't time for tradition, caring, communication, love, equality, patience, understanding, and most of all, there just isn't enough time for each other. It saddens me.

I guess sitting silently is the best thing I can do, but it hurts. Perhaps others have a better understanding of life and what is best. It won't stop hurting though. I just wish it could be like it used to be, but change is inevitable. I don't deal well with change.

Old friends, new perspectives, and life.

Andy and I met up with Rob and Huck for MSU, M's homecoming this past weekend. Overall, we had a nice time. We were all a bit disappointed with the lack of activities provided for the Alum, both by the school and our respective organizations. Needless to say, I think Andy and I will not be returning to campus for another function in quite some time.

This past week has opened my eyes a little on who I need to be and the direction I need to take in my life. I'm not perfect. I never will be. I've been living my life worried about what others will think of me, and it has made me into a very sad person. I'm not living for me, I'm living for them. It's due time I start living for myself and make myself happy. So, the journey begins to figure out who I truly am. It's exciting, and scary.

Am I worth it?

So, I've been rejected from a couple of places I applied. It really shouldn't matter because that happens to everyone, right? Well, it makes me feel pretty bad about myself. My self-esteem and self-confidence just went down a little more, just when I thought it couldn't get much worse. I don't think people realize how miserable I am. They say to change this and that and blah blah blah, but they don't understand that I can't. I know what needs to be done, I can tell you what needs to be done. I just can't do it. I can't describe it, but people, please stop. It makes things worse. It really does. I see a ton of people who are at the point in their life where I would like to be, but I'm no where near it. Honestly, I feel like the biggest loser on Earth.

Shouldn't you be in bed?

Another night of not being able to sleep, but I'm totally exhausted. It doesn't make sense, right? I've been worrying about things that just don't seem to go away when my head hits the pillow. It's quite annoying when you're so tired that you are about in tears because your mind won't shut off. Some day I will not worry so much, but today is not the day.

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Well, it's a little late, but I have a good excuse. Andy and I ventured up to Duluth to celebrate this special event. Although it was a very short trip, it was much needed and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

In case you're curious, here's a breakdown of our adventure:

Monday:
-Leave at 7:30 in the morning (only 30 minutes later than anticipated thanks to disorganization)
-Arrive in Duluth, stop at rest stop and continue our journey up the North Shore
-Arrive at Split Rock Lighthouse, look around, realize that it wasn't what we remember from our childhoods'
-Leave Split Rock a little disappointed
-Head down the North Shore to Gooseberry Falls
-Hike the same path from last year, eat a fantastic lunch in the same place as last year and take in the beautiful scenery
-Much of the afternoon was consumed with hiking and exploring parts of the park we had never been. Highlights included the crazy bird that could hold it's breath under water, going picture crazy, hiking to the shore, and hunting for agates.
-After the long hot day we enjoyed our first evening in Duluth by relaxing our sore muscles.

Tuesday:
-Walk to Caribou for breakfast
-Go on boat tour (Tara almost lost her cookies while waiting for other participants to load, it was not a good time). It was a good time after we moved away from the wicked waves of Lake Superior
-Walk to the Lief Erickson Rose Garden and take TONS of pictures
-Walk to Fitger's to enjoy a libation or two
-Head to Pickwick for our anniversary dinner. Once again, we were not impressed by the service or the food. We agreed staying at Fitger's and eating greasy food would have made us happier
-We enjoyed the view and sounds of Lake Superior that evening. It was fantastic weather!

Wednesday:
-Walk around Canal Park
-Start the journey home
-Stop at another state park to look at the agate collection, which was a bit disappointing, but interesting
-Stop at White Castle for lunch. We have done this every time we've been up to Duluth, it's a tradition I guess. A sick tradition if you ask me.
-We finally arrived home around 3

Overall, we had a fantastic time in Duluth!

I did it!

Hooray! I applied for a job today. It's the only job that has interested me or that I have felt qualified for in a long time. I do have to say, I HATE filling out applications, refreshing my resume and writing cover letters. I HATE IT! I seriously obsess and stress over it. I think I have small panic attacks throughout the process. UGH!

Another thing I dislike is people telling me I need to find a job or asking if I've found a job. I do have a job, thank you very much, but it happens to be during the school year. Yes, I know I'm not happy with where I am at career wise right now, but I DO have a job. Thank you for reminding me that I'm a loser and making me feel worse about myself. I truly appreciate it. Really, I do.

On a brighter note, Andy and I will be heading up to Duluth this coming weekend for our second anniversary. Hopefully it will be warmer than last year!

Say it isn't so

After a nice talk with Andy, we've decided to hold off on purchasing a house. We sat down and realized that, yes, we really would like a house, but we are not 100% comfortable. I know we will probably never be 100% sure, but we'd like to be a little closer to that mark than we are now.

It's a bummer, but also a relief. I guess if we feel a little relieved, it definitely isn't the right time to buy. We're on the right track, and now know where we stand and what we need to do to make everything work.

On a brighter note, we finally have a weekend where NOTHING is planned! It's so exciting! We've been busy every weekend this summer, which has been great, but it will be nice just to go with the flow!

The saga continues on the house buying front. We're not at the point where we're looking at houses in person, but it sure is fun to do on-line! The only problem we are facing right now is not totally liking our loan officer. We feel he is not listening to us and he doesn't seem to answer our questions. I guess that is what you get when you go to someone who deals w/ first time home buyers who can afford a mansion right away. We just happen to not be one of those mansion people.

It has become apparent where we belong. The debate last time was where to purchase a house: the cities or southern MN. Well, after visiting Mankato for a job interview on Monday, the answer was quite obvious. We are more city than country. It was, overall, a very disappointing trip to Mankato. We love to visit, but don't think that living there would be right for us. That doesn't mean things can't and won't change, but for now, the cities is where we belong. This, however, does not mean that we will be living in the "inner" city, but probably an outer suburb. Or a town that is within driving distance. You know the kind everyone is moving to.

The thought of such a big purchase is still scary and my stomach churns just thinking about it, but in a good way. Is anyone ever ready for the "big" things in life? Andy and I agree that we're ready for a house. It will be a ton of work, but we're ready for the challenge!

Are we old enough?

So, Andy and I ventured to the bank yesterday to talk about a mortgage. Yep, a mortgage. Are we old enough for this? Apparently so. It's exciting, but slightly scary at the same time. The hard part is figuring out where we actually want to settle long-term. Will it be the Cities or Southern MN? The quest begins.