Old friends, new perspectives, and life.

Andy and I met up with Rob and Huck for MSU, M's homecoming this past weekend. Overall, we had a nice time. We were all a bit disappointed with the lack of activities provided for the Alum, both by the school and our respective organizations. Needless to say, I think Andy and I will not be returning to campus for another function in quite some time.

This past week has opened my eyes a little on who I need to be and the direction I need to take in my life. I'm not perfect. I never will be. I've been living my life worried about what others will think of me, and it has made me into a very sad person. I'm not living for me, I'm living for them. It's due time I start living for myself and make myself happy. So, the journey begins to figure out who I truly am. It's exciting, and scary.

Am I worth it?

So, I've been rejected from a couple of places I applied. It really shouldn't matter because that happens to everyone, right? Well, it makes me feel pretty bad about myself. My self-esteem and self-confidence just went down a little more, just when I thought it couldn't get much worse. I don't think people realize how miserable I am. They say to change this and that and blah blah blah, but they don't understand that I can't. I know what needs to be done, I can tell you what needs to be done. I just can't do it. I can't describe it, but people, please stop. It makes things worse. It really does. I see a ton of people who are at the point in their life where I would like to be, but I'm no where near it. Honestly, I feel like the biggest loser on Earth.