Exhausted

There has been a lot on my mind lately and I just can't seem to get a good night's rest.

Andy's Grandma passed away on Saturday. We are so thankful that we were able to see her one last time, and pray that she went peacefully. It's not easy, especially when I think of Andy walking out the door and saying 'I love you, Grandma' for the last time.

Things are slowly changing in my family. Missing holidays and weddings seems to be the norm. It angers and saddens me all at once. Never in a million years did I think my family would be like this. I guess change is imminent, whether we like it or not.

My mind is full of thoughts. My mind just cannot rest. Tossing and turning. I would just like to sleep.

Welcome to Las Vegas

We returned home from Las Vegas this past Monday. Andy was able to see his grandma after far too many years, and I was finally able to meet her. It saddens me to know that this will probably be the last time we will see or talk to Marlyn. I am very grateful that Andy and I were able to go out there.

Change

Things are falling apart. There isn't time for tradition, caring, communication, love, equality, patience, understanding, and most of all, there just isn't enough time for each other. It saddens me.

I guess sitting silently is the best thing I can do, but it hurts. Perhaps others have a better understanding of life and what is best. It won't stop hurting though. I just wish it could be like it used to be, but change is inevitable. I don't deal well with change.